Thursday, August 12, 2010

Assumptions ~ I know what your thinking. Really?

"Don't make assumptions." (The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz)

Boy can that one get you in trouble. :-) Recently I lost who I thought was a loyal follower of my work. She just dropped off my page. Now, normally I would just assume that I just wasn't their cup of tea. That's fine with me, as I really believe that we
...all have something to offer, but we don't necessarily like the same stuff. I was only surprised because I had received a lovely message from this lovely women about the impact my work was having in her day. Of course, when she left I jumped to an assumption that somehow, something I had written had offended her. I spent a good amount of time going through my content looking for the culprit entry. Since it is never my intention to offend anything, it isn't surprising that I did not readily identify anything offensive. Still, I wondered.

Today, I had a conversation with a wonderful friend that cleared it up for me...and drove the lesson home. We were talking about the impact that social media is having on my daughter's new thriving business Tweedle Dee Designs. I shared with her that I was working on having more of an online presence in my business as I felt I could add some value for my clients. Then she shared with me why this person had dropped out of my network. (She works with her) She hadn't only dropped out of my network, but off the the site altogether for her own reasons I don't need to go into here. She then added, "She's missing Janet." Wow, I could have cried. I also felt bit silly having ASSUMED it was something I did or said. 

The lesson here, is to not make assumptions on why people do things or about what they are thinking. Usually our assumptions are incorrect, cause a good bit of unnecessary heartache, and can harm relationships. It would be far better to simply ask them and get a clear understanding of where they are coming from. We won't always get the gift of clarity from a chance conversation and you won't end up feeling like a Fruit Loop :-) ~ Blessings, Janet

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