Self-Care ~ You're the only you we've got

"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous." ~ Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

I was never a huge Sex and the City fan, however, I love this quote because it is so relevant to our lives. People come into and go out of our lives, whether by choice or by circumstance. When we get heartbroken, we often go off on a manic tangent to find our next true love. Too often we don't take the time to truly spend genuine, lovely time with ourselves, enjoying our own senses and our own lives, apart from another. The best relationships occur between people to genuinely know and love themselves. They spend time taking care of themselves. They spend time doing the things that they love to do. They have more to bring to the relationship and don't expect the other to make them happy. They are already happy!

Believe in Yourself

“Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn't have it in the beginning.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

When I was younger, I didn't believe that I had what it took to complete a college degree. I felt that my lack of math and science aptitude would prevent me from doing the one thing I felt would be the biggest accomplishment of my life. And I felt that way for over 25 years! It wasn't that I didn't have a ton of people who believed in me; I just didn't believe in myself. Then, one day, about 2 years after the death of my sister, Barb, and after throwing myself into every hobby and interest I could in order to fill the great chasm left by her loss, I decided to go back to school. Still, I felt inadequate, but perhaps I felt like I had nothing else to lose. I had also gone through a pretty devastating divorce and had lost some pretty important friends. I really had no where to go but up, so I enrolled in a psychology 101 course. I loved it, and earning an A gave me a tiny boost of confidence, so I enrolled in my first math class. It was just the basics (I figured I'd guarantee myself success by starting at the beginning) and I earned an A. So, I enrolled in the next math class, and a science class and so on...earning all As. About two months before graduating from Chandler Gilbert Community College, I received a letter informing me that I was selected to receive the Emerging Math and Science Award! In addition, I was also honored with the title Who's Who in American Junior Colleges. What? Get Out! Seriously!? Seriously. Here I come ASU.

I found myself sitting in an auditorium sized classroom with a Professor who could be my son! In my notebook; I wrote, "We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto." To make a long story short, I graduated from ASU with a 4.05 gpa and a lifetime membership in PSI CHI (Psychology Students Honor Society).

My point here is not to brag about accomplishment; but to encourage you to take the baby steps that will lead you to your greatness. For me, I had to start back at the beginning to build my confidence. For you, it might just mean doing it through your fear. What do you have to lose?